John of the Cross
(Living Flame of Love 3,59–61)
Let us say that, as a spiritual director, you are suitable for certain individuals, perhaps for those who are not called to a more advanced spiritual path. But you cannot cater to all the people you do not let go of. God leads each person by a different path, for there is no character that can be half equivalent to another. Who can say of themselves, like St. Paul, that they can be all things to all people, so that they might win all? You are thus coercing people, taking away their freedom, and daring to think that you have embraced the entire gospel to the extent that you want to completely captivate people to yourself; even worse, you become upset when they seek guidance from someone else. It may well be that someone discusses a matter with another person because it would not be beneficial to consult you, or because God Himself inspires them in such a way, as that person may teach them things that you could not. Yet you – I do not say this without shame – create jealousy scenes, akin to what occurs between spouses. This has little to do with zeal for God's honor and for the salvation of souls! For surely you would not be so presumptuous as to claim that a person who is offended in this way has offended God. It is the jealousy of your arrogance, your pride, or something else from your movements of imperfection. Against such spiritual directors, God's wrath is great! Through Ezekiel, He threatens them: "You have fed on the milk of my flock and clothed yourselves with its wool. But you have not pastured my flock. From your hands, I will require my flock back" (Ezek 34:8).
Spiritual directors must allow people their freedom. And they are obliged to maintain their friendship when individuals seek better guidance. For a spiritual director cannot know what way God wishes to lead a person, especially when they are not satisfied with the current guidance – which is merely a sign that the current approach is not progressing. Either God wants to lead them Himself or another spiritual leader is more suitable...
(John of the Cross: “... Let People Have Freedom”,
in: Living Flame of Love, 3,59–61, Carmel Impulses 5/1995)
Translated by Dr. Vojtěch Pola
