Just a few notes – still trying to rid you of all those irrational fears and anxieties:
1) Doing good for others is a great thing. The problem arises when we seek recognition for ourselves in the process. The former is focused on others, while the latter is more about oneself, with the individual aiming for their own needs and self-satisfaction.
2) Being "nice" is not an ethical category. Such a guideline can be found neither in the Gospel nor in the Rule, where we learn very specifically what we should do. Try to refer more to them than to some vague, unclear desire to be nice.
3) Neither Christ, nor Saint Benedict, nor any of us desire any abstract perfection. We are concerned with real people, saints of flesh and blood, who are aware of their faults and limits, who know they need to be saved, and who bring to the Lord specific areas for healing and redemption. We care about real people who trust that God loves them, believe it (faith!), and can peacefully accept their stumbles and falls. Christ called you specifically, longs for you, nothing more and nothing less, He does not seek any ideal individuals.
(Mary David Totah, OSB /1957–2017/, Joy in God)
