A kind word, a gentle smile, is often enough to warm a sad soul. But I absolutely do not want to cultivate love for the sake of achieving this goal. I know that I would soon become discouraged. A word that I say with the best intentions may very well be interpreted in quite the opposite way. Therefore, to avoid wasting time, I want to be kind to everyone (and especially to the least amiable sisters) in order to please Jesus. (As 237)
I told myself that love does not depend on feelings, but on actions. So I tried to do for this sister (who I found very unsympathetic) what I would do for the person I love the most. Every time I met her, I prayed for her to the Lord, offering Him all her virtues and merits. I felt strongly that this pleased Jesus, for there is no artist who does not gladly accept praise for his works, and Jesus, the artist of souls, is happy when we do not stop at the surface, but when we penetrate into the inner sanctuary that He has chosen as His abode, and admire its beauty. I did not settle for just praying for the sister who cost me so many struggles. I tried to show her every possible service, and when I was tempted to respond unkindly, I settled for smiling at her with my warmest smile and tried to divert the conversation elsewhere. In the “Imitation” it says: “It is better to leave everyone to their own thoughts than to be hindered by opposition” (1). (As 217)
Jesus’ cry on the cross constantly echoed in my heart: “I thirst!” (John 19:28). These words ignited an unknown and very burning desire in me... I wanted to give drink to my Beloved, and I felt myself consumed by thirst for souls... (As 97)
I feel that I will soon enter into rest. Above all, however, I feel that my mission will soon begin, my mission to teach others to love God as I love Him, to give my pathway to souls. If dear God hears my wishes, my heaven will be on earth until the end of the world. Yes, I want to experience my heaven by doing good on earth. (VDŽ 68)
(1) The Imitation of Christ, Book III, chapter 44,1.
(AS = Autobiographical writings; VDŽ = I Enter into Life)
